Archive for the ‘Industry Leaders’ Category

I’ve Got A Secret

August 30, 2006

I know lots of secrets because people write me about stealth tech projects.  They tell me that not only that is the project stealthy and secret but also that I cant tell anyone.  Generally what I’ll do is either play “connect the dots” or (my favorite way to jerk around Z-Listers) “I’ve got a secret”.  I have entire blog posts dedicated to telling you  absoluutely nothing.

“Cark Muban is up to something but I can’t tell you what…”

“{Insert Company name here} is going to announce something special but I’m under NDA….”

“I sat in on a famous bender of paperclips and understand Sicromoft’s paperclip strategy…..”

Thats how I like it – keep telling ME! everything and I’ll keep it secret…(unless of course it can put me first on MechTeme)


Why Name Dropping Works

August 28, 2006

Unlike you Z-Listers that only hang out with your friends, I only hang out with important people and son. (I only blog with my wife when I need something and throw her links when her page rank begins to wane – she’s impossible to find when she isnt the first entry in the search engines).  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I keep my cell phone number on my blog, blah, blah blah, but that isnt isnt for you…just people that can give me page rank.

Hanging out with only important people accomplishes a few important things (important to ME! anyway and that’s all that matters).  First, I can constantly name-drop about Gill Bates, Cark Muban, and other near-celebrities in order to remind you of how important I am and keep others from entering the A-List. This works even if I am only tangentially part of their group – even if that means that my son and I are in deli and the founder of a search engine asks me where the napkins are (one of my most memorable conversations by  the way).   If you feel bad that you aren’t pal’ing around with such folks, you should. 

Second, name dropping is great Googlebait.  Looking for any high profile tech person in a search engine?  Chances are you’ll find my site near the top of the choices with the high mix of recognized names and tech buzz words.  A guy has to protect his A-list position (even ME!), you know. Since every web 2.0 CEO has me on speed dial, I can be among the first to spread gossip and rumor.  Every once in a while, I can even mix in some libel and slander (being a journalism major, I know all about that one). Getting the huddled masses stirred up makes for effective Googlebait.

Thirdly, I can create ever tighter logic circles.  Things like A) lunch with Gill Bates B) have Ike Marrington tag along and then long after Gill Bates picks up the tab C) establish a point important to ME! in a future post along the lines of “if this wasn’t important, why did Gill Bates have lunch with Ike Marrington?”  Master stroke – thanks for playing.

Fourth, no one has yet figured out that as nice as I am in my posts, I can be mean in my comments.  My minions love this and hey, we all know, that no one with any juice reads the comments anyway. The thread stopping comment is always, “have you talked to 4000 industry leaders about this?  ”  No one knows that its actually only 3752 (I always round up).

Lastly, I’m teeing up my son to take over the reins because blogging will be around forever. He always good for some google bait keywords around a certain large tech company anyway. Much like I easily turned my wife into an A-list blogger with a few links, I’ll gladly do the same when it’s time to pass the torch in return.

Blog Scoop Shocker: OMG, did you know that you could blog from your cell phone? Am I first on MechTeme with that?

Sitting Down With Another Industry Leader

August 27, 2006

I sat down with another industry last week and threw out my usual softball questions.  Two things are absolute truisms in my book:   if a blog or corporate PR says it…it has to be true…and guaranteed I’ll swallow it whole hook, line, and sinker. So when corporate PR says that affiliates make upwards of $xxx,xxx per year, that means everyone will.

At Sicromoft, the ability to demonstrate critical thinking wasn’t necessary because since the issues with teams were already well-known, I could simply avoid the hard ones.  Now that I’m my own brand, I’ll feed the masses their pulp and play to my minions.  Conjecture presented as facts play as well as corner cases presented as the norm….why should I critically think when my hundreds of minions will always support me?

If they happen to disagree (how could they?  I’m ME!)  I’ll either 1) throw a tantrum, 2) insult the poster, 3) whine about how hurt my feelings are (that seems to work well) or 4) insist that they are working for a competitor.

if somehow publically proven to be wrong, I’ll just write a quick unfelt admission to be buried under 15 other postings…this should never be regarded as an apology.  Needless to say, I wont ever comment again on the topic.