Archive for the ‘web n.0’ Category

Speaker Standards….

September 3, 2006

regarding “speaker standards,” maybe you haven’t heard….

– I won the “Cat’s Meow” award at a conference once and am a 4 time winner of “Most Likely to Suck Seed” award

– I’ve been called “better than canned corn” by CCB television (did I tell you that they were amazed that I got *3* blog comments during my TV interview with them!)

– At DROP in Europe, I was the third highest ranked speaker (hmmm..there was only a model and retired milkman with no teeth as the other speakers)…but I was third!

– (editor’s note: there’s a first for everything…a real blogger actually used the following phrase…it’s too perfectly arrogant to change so I’ll cut and paste his words in full.  sometimes reality is funnier than parody)  “And, there aren’t many people alive who’ve interviewed the Office Live team as well as the Google Calendar team as well as the guy who runs the company that makes Open Office.”    (  see comment #42)

– I’ve name-dropped every executive known to man, tamed tigers, incited wars, quelled rebellions, started revolutions, and ended bar fights. The syndication method SRR was even named after ME! When will you understand that it’s all about ME! If you know someone with better credentials and emails to prove it, show ME! 

Don’t take what I am saying as arrogance…just confidence. I’m so misunderstood. Besides, I dont really need to be a speaker anyway for the masses anyway.  My Google Juice is already back…so there!


When All Else Fails….

September 2, 2006

When all else fails, I can always just blog about my old work on Nannel Chine (back when you guys loved ME!). You’ll get to watch something good while I can wax nostalgic about the “good old days”. 

I wish that Todpech could have videos like Nannel Chine but you guys dont let me off of the hook for my softball questions.  Sure, I could ask more meaningful questions of technology leaders or even have a three minute “hotseat”  set of questions where I ask hard questions about the lack of diversity and such, but then I’d have to actually take a risk to make change  (and who wants to take a risk? I prefer to do things like make mention of diversity in a non-actionable way so I can claim victory, google juice, and some MechTeme power later). 

Besides, if I take a risk and ask hard questions, I’d have to actually demonstrate critical thinking, perform some due diligence on a given companies issues, be knowledgable about their products, and then actually ask the hard questions (in front of them!). It’s easier just to parrot back PR’s talking points and reap the benefits.

I didn’t sign up for risk-taking….besides PR might not ever invite ME! back.

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Why Is My Page Rank Dropping?

August 31, 2006

Am I not your entire Web N.0 universe anymore?  You used to love ME! and now?

I’ve lost my gift – no one is linking.  I’m one dude in serious need of a hug (and perhaps more names to drop).   Maybe I need to think about how my style and attitude have changed since leaving Sicromoft.  Or I’ll just blame it on boredom or changes in the web, because it couldn’t possibly be ME!  (I like that better)

Minions…?  Hello….?  Why is there an echo in my blog-o-sphere?

I’ve Got A Secret

August 30, 2006

I know lots of secrets because people write me about stealth tech projects.  They tell me that not only that is the project stealthy and secret but also that I cant tell anyone.  Generally what I’ll do is either play “connect the dots” or (my favorite way to jerk around Z-Listers) “I’ve got a secret”.  I have entire blog posts dedicated to telling you  absoluutely nothing.

“Cark Muban is up to something but I can’t tell you what…”

“{Insert Company name here} is going to announce something special but I’m under NDA….”

“I sat in on a famous bender of paperclips and understand Sicromoft’s paperclip strategy…..”

Thats how I like it – keep telling ME! everything and I’ll keep it secret…(unless of course it can put me first on MechTeme)